So he put a ring on it, now what? FOUR tips for those who are engaged.
1- Happily ever after doesn’t happen just because you said yes. This is where the real work begins. Why? Because now the arguments are no longer about sharing closet space or who’s turn it is to do the dishes; now the arguments are about what your next big investment as a couple should be, planning a wedding and where you would like to live for the rest of your life. The point is that arguments and decision become a bigger deal. My advice is, prioritize. Choose one issue at a time and keep in mind that just because you’re engaged, it doesn’t necessarily mean that all of a sudden you must know everything about each other. Being in a relationship with someone is an ongoing going effort with wonderful rewards along the way.
2- Ignore the pressure. As soon as you get engaged, people will start asking: When is the wedding? Are you pregnant? Are you guys buying a house? Or maybe it’ll all be self-imposed pressure to hurry and do all the things you’re “supposed” to do. The reality is that there is no set timeframe or “right” way of proceeding with these life decisions. If you want to, you can be engaged for a year or more, you can rent or buy a house, you can have a big or small wedding. You can have kids before, right away or enjoy being married for a few years before adding children into the mix. The point is that the choice is yours so make decisions solely based on what is best for you as a couple. We tend to want to please everyone and/or keep up with the Joneses but in either case I can almost guarantee that decisions based on others will lead to big arguments. People will always have things to say so you might as well do what you want.
3- Don’t forget to have fun. Sometimes people tend to take themselves a bit too seriously when they get engaged and that’s a slippery slope to boredom. Boredom leads to petty fights, neglecting each other and looking outside the relationship for things you used to get from your partner. In my humble opinion, couples should never stop dating. Continue to make each other laugh, having date nights, going on adventures and doing activities together. Continue to be the people who made you fall in love with one another and you’ll never have to worry about being stuck in a rut.
4- Be a good bff. Ok so the slogan “chicks before d*cks” that you used to have with your girls back in your single days is awesome but it doesn’t apply when you’re married. Your immediate family unit (partner and kids) always comes first. That being said, it doesn’t mean you get a free pass on being a bad friend. Never forget where you came from and the friends who were there for you when there wasn’t a guy in the picture. Friends are valuable and become harder to make the older you get, so cherish your girls. It’s healthy to have a social life outside of your relationship because it’s about being independent and having a social network of like-minded people. Trust me, a women who has a life and doesn’t constantly rely on a guy to be happy, for support, or entertainment is much more attractive than one who does. In any case, if your ladies are anything like mine, a girls’ night is always lots of fun.