The List

Jun 16 • RELATIONSHIPS • 3629 Views • 2 Comments

the list

Oh that infamous list you’ve been holding on to since you were 15 years old. You know that list like the back of your hand. All the requirements, the characteristics, the personality traits and much more that your Mr. Right must have.  If only you knew then what you know now.

You now know that over the years, you’ve had to adjust that list quite a few times. Hate to break it to you but you’ve been unrealistic.

You now know that Prince Charming is a fib. Yes, Disney lied to you. Its ok, I had a hard time with that one too.

You now know those things such as eye color and how much he has in his bank account doesn’t mean a perfect love match.

But lets admit it, that list was a lot of fun. It’s been the discussion of many fun girls night. And every time you broke up with a guy, you added something to the list and vowed never to settle for less. The list helped you figure out what your standards were in your early years in the dating scene. It’s all good. Lesson learned. Now let it go. Like your first training bra, eventually you outgrow it and you have to move on to the grown up bras. If you insist on holding on to the training bra… well, I’ll let you visualize that. Its not a good look.

Everyone should have standards of course. A lady always has fundamental standards that she wont compromise. I call those deal breakers and usually when you really think about it, it’s a pretty short list. As for all the rest? For one, most things in life are negotiable when you love someone and isn’t a big part of relationships about compromise? Secondly, you’ll find that the things you think you need tend to change as you grow older and have different experiences.  I met Prince Charming once. He was everything that was on my list and after two years of dating, it turned out that the list wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. So when that ended, I pulled an Adele and set fire to the rain (burned the idea of him and the list in my mind). More importantly, I vowed to never limit my heart to what life can bring me by having all these walls (i.e list, unrealistic expectations, {plug in your daddy issue here}, etc)

Dear ladies, don’t shoot yourself in the foot with your list. While you were checking your list, the right guy for you might have walked right passed you. Be open and be loving. Don’t compromise who you are or your morals but keep an open mind to at least hear people’s story. Everyone has one and the right one just might win you over. He wont be perfect but he’ll be perfect for you.

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2 Responses to The List

  1. Sarah says:

    I’d say that’s pretty solid advice. While it is impossible to anticipate who will be a perfect match for you, it’s likely that the most healthy kinds of relationships are those where you have lots to learn from one another’s differences. But it is definitely good to have a set of standards of what you won’t stand for in the form of a list of solid positive values that are really important to you. Even what you think you might want out of a relationship can completely change depending on the person, but as long as you both want the same thing where it really matters, like levels of intimacy, sexual compatibility, time commitment, lifestyle etc. then it will be much easier to look over the occasional annoying habits, and to take pleasure in sharing your differing interests. Being open and loving above all are definitely key!

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