Expectations: Relationship Killer

Jun 27 • RELATIONSHIPS • 3149 Views • No Comments

A lot of us confuse expectations with standards when it comes to relationships. A standard for the life partner you are looking for is a fact. It is a norm used to measure the quality of the type of relationship you chose to have in your life. Expectations on the other hand are simply wishful thinking. It is hoping and believing that something will eventually become a reality.  Your current partner should be with you because he meets your standards, not because you’re hoping he will eventually have the qualities you’re looking for. Unfortunately we enter relationships with too many expectations and not enough standards.

How do you know if you’re suffocating your partner with too many expectations? Well write down everything you expect from him. Now on that same list, cross off all the things you DON’T expect from yourself. If there’s nothing to cross off, then good. Keep on keeping on. But if that list became much shorter, then you most likely have too many expectations my dear. Why? Because you shouldn’t expect any thing from others to beginning with but most importantly, the things you expect from your partner should at the very least be what you expect from yourself. You want him to have a six-pack? Sure but when was the last time you worked out? Girl, there is no such thing as baby fat when you’re in your twenties! If you’re not hard on your self, you can’t be hard on him. You can chose to be happily chubby together or workout together. Be loving one way or another.

The point is we should live by example and we cannot be harder on others than we are on ourselves. And if you’re single, living by example is actually a great way of increasing your chances of meeting guys with similar interests. For example, if you like a more intellectual type of guy, how about you spend some time at the bookstore, the library, museums, conferences, seminars, etc.…who knows who you’ll meet there. Maybe when you reach out to grab that book off the shelf he’ll be reaching out for the same one and you guys will lock eye contact and… Ok Ok, maybe not. Life is not a romantic comedy but hey, you never know ;)

Expectations can be a relationship killer because more often than not, they lead to disappointment. So when you meet a guy, make sure he meets your standards right away. Perfect in all their imperfections. Let go of the expectations and enjoy your Mr. Right now.

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